Mike Macgirvin
 High Range, Australia 
Effective immediately we will stop selling anti-aircraft weaponry, mortars, anti-personnel  mines, and machine guns to the criminally insane. Long range bombers, chemical munitions, and nuclear devices will absolutely not be released to your custody without a note from your doctor. We will continue to supply spare parts for armoured vehicles for 60 days in order to allow you to make alternative arrangements.

Thank you for your understanding.