What do you mean my position has been eliminated to cut costs? I'm the only one working here fercrysakes. I'm the boss. It's the only position there is. I'm paying out of my pocket so I can work here. How are you gonna' cut costs if your only paying employee stops paying to work here? No, really - you can't fire me - because I quit...

And so it goes...   

For my next piece, I'd like to do a little Ted Nugent number called "Wang! Dang! Sweet Poon-TANG!". A one, a two, a three...