Google is legendary for their brain-teaser technical interviews that weed out anybody who is less than Mensa. Mine went extremely poorly. I don't think they're going to be calling me back. But it's too bad, because it wasn't my fault. 

First of all I don't understand the logic in having a phone interview between Australia and Mountain View California USA. I guess nobody in Sydney is qualified to ask technical questions. Oh well.

But here's the first question:

Given several points in 2-d space, construct a line between them.

OK, this isn't hard, but first I have to know the goal of the line. So I ask her. What's the goal of this line? And is there a vector or direction preference? 

She answers - what do you mean a 'goal'? She sounds annoyed. It's just a line. How do you construct it?

So I start probing. OK, well you can just connect the dots. I doubt that's what you're after; but at least I may be able to further ascertain the goal you have in mind. She rejects connect the dots outright - even though it satisfies the problem criteria; and without providing any more input.

So I have to answer that I cannot solve this problem. I don't have enough information. She then goes on and says OK, forget it. Now instead of points you've got lines. Same question. Construct a line between them.

I've still got the same problem. There isn't enough information. I cannot answer it. I start by finding the midpoint of the lines, maybe we should draw through them all? BZZZZT! Wrong answer. She starts to question how you would find out if two lines overlap. So clearly she has another goal in mind, but for the dickens I can't tease it out of her. It starts to look like she had a scatter plot in mind. You know - you've got a bunch of random data points, find the mean. But even here, you need a further goal. Are you going against the x or the y axis?  It's still unsolvable. I'm starting to show my exhasperation - so is she. 

But there's no place for me to go. No way out. Let's imagine some possibilities. Connect the dots in the Y direction. Find the mean in the Y direction. Solve for x instead. What if the points describe the circumference of a circle? Am I to draw the circle, draw a line through it, or draw something looking like the AT&T logo on these points? All of these solve the first problem. When you turn it into lines, am I finding the mean, or constructing segments? What if I've got multiple sets of parallel lines that look like the I Ching? What kind of line am I expected to draw?

But she cannot even envision these possibilities. She's looking for some simple answer to a problem that she hasn't been able to convey - and so I am unable to answer it.

Let's move on. Question two. You've got an array of integers. Sort them, in 1/n time or better. We know the min and max.

Maybe this can be done - but I'm just not seeing it. I tell her so. I also spend a few moments looking at possible ways to do it, but they all lead to dead ends. She stresses again, we know the min and max, as though to say that this is an important fact to consider. Well yeah, but it doesn't help. Best you can do is 2(1/n). But she's given up on me and the phone call is coming to an end. I am guessing she was looking for something like - construct an array with (max-min) elements. go through your original array and drop each element into its index in the second array. You're done.

But you're not. What if you've got holes in the destination array? You've got to make a second pass and prune all the holes.  Or you sort into a linked list in the first place, which means that min and max aren't helping you; and this takes log time so it doesn't fit the solution set. I then turn my brain into a CPU and drop into assembly language. Let's see, take the first number and stick it into a register... load the next, branch if greater... I'm visualizing how to solve this the best way.

She's almost scolding me by now. What's a register? What does that have to do with the problem? I don't have time to explain the inner workings of a microprocessor and it wouldn't help anyway - our conversation was finished. Too bad, I thought I was getting somewhere with the assembler sort; but totally lost the train of thought when she asked me what the hell I was doing.  

So anyway - for any of you thinking of joining Google, best of luck. It doesn't matter if you're clever. What would probably help is if you get an interviewer that has actually had to solve real world problems rather than theoretical questions from a cheat sheet. Or - if you're clairvoyant. 

Another sign of the change in lifestyle was this morning. We attended a pasture management course up at the Robo stockyard. This incidentally is believed to be one of the locations used in the film 'Babe'. Learned all kinds of stuff about working land. 

The kookaburra is a strange and unique sounding bird. However nothing can prepare for you for what I simply call the 'R2D2' bird. Yup, that's right - sounds just like a cheerful R2 unit. Someday I'll figure out what the locals call it, but I believe this name is the best description.

The house closes in a week and a half. Took a look at Google Earth (I'll provide coordinates to friends and family) and it's right at 14.6 miles from the ocean - yet a world away. If you're impatient, just find Robertson NSW - to the left and down a spit from Wollongong. 

In fact - if you climb the hill right behind our new house, you'll be looking down the Illawarra Escarpment, across the lowlands, and out over the Pacific. This amazing view is just one pasture away from our house! The view over the edge of the Escarpment itself (a huge cliff about 10 miles inland) is simply astonishing. Now this hill is private property, but maybe I can work out a concession to take a few friends up once in a while. If not there's an access road to the cliff edge a couple of kilometers away.

Change your height exaggeration to 3 in the Google Earth prefs and use a low viewing angle towards the east to get a rough idea of what I'm talking about. 

Took a little road trip today to check out some of the surroundings. Started with my daughter's hockey match in Mittagong - then went to the coast via Wollongong; to the mall at Shellharbour, and then back via Jamberoo. Oh yeah - we kinda' had to stop at Chili's in Shellharbour because it's one of the few places around here that isn't totally alien to a California Kid. 

Quite a lovely coastline. Kinda' reminds me of San Luis Obispo, except in a scrubby rain forest that looks strikingly like the central Yucatan.  The weather was nice - clear and about 21c or high sixties. We had a bit of a wind storm last night, but clear and 21c ain't bad for winter weather.

Today is my birthday once again. Had a lovely dinner at the Briars in Bowral. So what does a Yankee expat eat at a five-star Australian restaurant?  I went for the kangaroo. In fact it doesn't taste like chicken at all. It tastes like beef. Maybe just a hint of gaminess like buffalo - but without the fat that buffalo has (you can fill a schooner with the fat in a slice of buffalo steak).

OK, a schooner is the 'large' beer glass in most of Australia - 12 oz. When you order a beer, you order either a regular or a schooner. I find this amusing. The bartender or waitress always looks at you with wide eyes like this schooner is something to be afraid of. Now 12 oz. is the normal size beer bottle throughout the world - or around a third of a liter. However in the west (Perth) and some parts of the outback a schooner is the smallest glass in the bar and the normal sized drink is at least a liter. That's more what I'm used to. A liter is a decent glass of beer. I had to laugh the first time. What's this pathetic schooner thing you gave me? I ordered a large beer.

But I digress.

So anyway kangaroo tastes just like any other big yummy steak.

Have some crocodile with that? 

Brazil is in the news. They've decided that it's criminal to claim 'intellectual property' for drugs which save lives - so they are going to clone some proprietary AIDS drugs to distribute for less than the nose-bleed prices currently charged. 

But wait, they are in the news yet again. Seems that the venom of an Amazon spider causes prolonged erections in men. Move over Viagra. This is even better.

I've got a solution to the first problem. The money lost to AIDS drugs can easily be replaced by middle aged men looking for a hot, sweaty night.

How about a trade?

A totally unrelated sideline I'll throw into this article because it's fresh on my brain... was in a rest room at a gas (petrol) station recently. Typical. A condom machine next to the sink. Looks just like any old gas station on the US interstate. Except for one difference. This one has a used hypodermic needle disposal bin. You'd never see that in Nebraska. They're quite common here. But it makes me wonder - is it because this society isn't quite so puritanical as the US that they're allowed to do this, or is it because they have a huge drug shooting problem?  Hmmm...

We aren't roughing it completely, but still living on limited 'luxuries' since the move. One computer on the net that we all share, no guitars. Only 8 changes of clothes. Most of the furnishings here likely came from garage sales or St. Vincent de Paul. It's pointless to buy anything but bare essentials since we already own plenty of stuff; it's just a matter of camping out until it arrives. 

It isn't horrible, but could be a bit more convenient. The container with all of our stuff isn't set to arrive for another week or two. In fact we were told that it was scheduled to hit Sydney last week, but it turns out that the date given was for a change of ships in Singapore. Another week to Sydney and then another week to clear customs.

Oh well, at least our belongings made it to this side of the world. I'm assuming this - as we haven't been told otherwise.

Made an offer on a nice house in Robertson about 4 kilometers up the road. It's going to be another year or so before our house on the lake is finished - and we're currently in a little 1850's 2-bedroom cottage. You can see right through the planks on the floor. Since winter is almost here, that means it's going to be expensive to stay warm. If we buy a place for the interim, we can always turn around and use it as a rental later.

The Corrola is here, which will be my car, but the other family car (a Toyota Prada) isn't scheduled to land for another week or two. Heck, it might even be on the same ship as our furniture. [snicker...]

The job search is tough. As I surmised, most of the software jobs are in the big city. Oh well, it just means a nasty commute is highly likely. Whatever. But I've got to get a few hundred more resumes (known as Curriculum Vitae here) in circulation. Only got one call so far and it was for a pretty weak job in the city. If I've got to commute, I'm not doing it for a menial job paying entry-level wages.

On the bright side, found a home-brew store in Moss Vale. With good beer running close to $20 a six pack, I'll be a customer there the moment my brew pots arrive. And it turns out that moonshine is legal here. You can buy a still at the home-brew shop and buy books with vodka and scotch recipes. Even though I haven't consumed such products in quite some time, it's still rather intriguing. I have fond memories of some tasty Kentucky moonshine that I'd love to re-create. In the U.S., creating moonshine is a serious offense.