So after an arrest last week in the JonBenet Ramsey murder, I was compelled to do a web search to see if there was any news on the investigation of the murder of a friend of mine in Boulder back in the early 1980's.

Lo and behold, I found buried in a 2002 annual report from the Boulder PD that detectives had re-examined some DNA evidence, matched it to a suspect, and obtained a conviction. It took twenty years, but they solved it. Oh, and it wasn't who I thought it was - a gal who left her purse in the apartment that night and acted suspiciously for the next several days. (It's still entirely possible she was there at the time, but I'll leave it at that.) The conviction was for a male who's name doesn't ring any bells with me; and based on DNA from a hair found in/on Gary's hand. 

It was probably the result of extraordinary public pressure over the handling of the JonBenet investigation which resulted in this turn of events. Regardless, closure is closure. It's also interesting that the Boulder PD sent me a letter back in 2001, stating their commitment to solving this case. Wish they would've followed up when they actually did.

Did anybody else catch the pope drooling as he made his latest celibacy plea? He's looking pretty bad - don't really expect him to hold much more than another year or so. Then we start the process of finding another again. This is almost always full of murder, mystery, and intrigue.

The protesters are out en masse in Washington (and also in Washington). That giant sucking sound you hear? Oh, it's nothing to be concerned with. It's that global war on terrorism, remember? Today we're gonna' blow up a couple of Phillipine villages and try and figure out a backup plan for getting rid of that socialist dude in Venezuela. We're also gonna' knock off a few poor people in Georgia and a couple of other former Russian states. Israel is gonna' blow up just another few dozen houses, and then they'll really pull out. Remember the third greatest lie? (I won't cum inside you, honest...). England and Canada want to go out and play howitzers with the Afghanis, well as long as we don't drop any more bombs on the Canadians. This isn't even counting the two-dozen or so other conflicts going on which have all gotten pumped up with fresh ammo by the container-load in the last six months. No, it's not a world war. That's different.

I tried late last year to invest in some infantry arms and ammo manufacturers. Profits are certainly soaring. But I quickly discovered that none of the big boys trade on exchanges. Privately held corporations. This makes sense - they have no need for outside funding, profits are incredible, and they don't have to answer to any social-activists or public pressure like the tobacco companies do.

Looks like a great day to wash the car, don't you think? Not me. I'm gonna' go work on some stubborn light fixtures. Besides - it's just over a couple of weeks 'til summer hits and we traditionally have a good last soaking.

Discovered that some of the brown eggs at the market have been touched up with food coloring - something you can only find out by hard-boiling. Wonder what they do with the white ones... Bleach bath? Chalk?

Since it happened to be on my mind I tempted mother nature by going to the car wash after heading home from the shop. Doesn't matter if it rains. Consider that the Cherokee hasn't been washed since probably before the millenium. The Wrangler doesn't get washed - ever. But I do reserve the right to scrape dead bugs off if they start to get like a quarter-inch thick. Had my radio on when I went into the thing. Ohmigosh. Big-time radiation field. Made a quick mental tally of how many joules were slamming through my body and decided that next time I might just use the hose. Those blowers are probably about 30-40 amps, another 30 or so for the motor that drives the thing. That's about 200 kilowatts (assuming 220V). Granted some of that energy is doing work on your car but there're still a lot of electrons pulsing around about a foot from you. And inside the car you're a giant capacitor. I used to work with a lot of concentrated energy fields and have a healthy respect for them.

Had to look at the archives and see if I had ranted previously about the Robert Blake thing. Yup. Now maybe we'll get to hear some of that dirty laundry.

Completely forgot last month to mark the twentieth anniversary of Gary's murder. Never heard back from the Boulder police - who sent me a letter last year promising to re-open the investigation. I followed up but they didn't. I even know that they've been surfing the web for clues. I've got the logs. Search hits for 'Gary Stoner murder Boulder' from a boulder city department and it's probably the only hit out there. Maybe by the time we hit twenty-five years they'll get her. Maybe not. My guess is she's probably done it again and gotten caught already. She enjoyed it too much. Let's see what I can remember. Stabbed an obscene number of times with an ice-pick. When the police started looking for clues, I suppose it would heave been hard to overlook the purse or wallet that got left behind. And she came back. The next day. Probably to try and re-collect her purse but this was after the cops had all gone home. The only person who ever came back. I stayed in that complex another few months. Gary was a somewhat transient who sold his own blood and a little bit of pot to survive. Nice guy. He'd loan you money 'til payday. Loved his rock-n-roll and had a great record collection. He had just found a new girlfriend. Doubt he had ever kissed her. The gal who dropped the purse was the chauffer since neither Gary or his new-found girlfriend drove a car. But it was still twenty years ago. I picked her out of a photo lineup then. I friggin' don't remember what she looks like anymore. Too long ago. For the rest of us, life marches on.

It was only a matter of time... I've been watching the adverts for the newest TV show, which combines the quiz show aspects of "Who Wants to be..." with the "vote somebody off" aspects of Survivor. It's called the Weakest Link or something like that.

Got a letter today from the Boulder Police Department, investigating my friend Gary's murder in 1982. What a coincidence - I just ranted about them a few weeks back. Not sure if they have new information and need my help, or if somebody showed them a copy of my last month's rant and they decided to slap a restraining order on my website for defamation. But all I got was phone mail when I called, so I'm not going to hazard any guesses. It was at least refreshing to know that even after nineteen years they actually have a detective (two in fact) assigned to the case.

Started on the hallway strip lighting. As I predicted when I purchased all the stuff for it a couple months back, it required building a platform so that the ladder could straddle the stairs and still be somewhat level. Just happened to have a bunch of concrete blocks which came from the now demolished retaining wall outside that fit the bill nicely.

I'm a little late, but my friend who shared my birthday (Gary Stoner) was murdered on March 11, 1982, 19 years ago; by multiple stab wounds from an ice pick. We'll never forget you. The perpetrator is still at large (though we're pretty certain who she is), and that pretty much sucks. The same cops still can't figure out Benet-Ramsey, a much more recent and higher profile incident, but also a long time past. Hint: Don't get killed in Boulder, CO.

Thought this post to fuckedcompany.com (the dot-com graveyard) was hilarious. Posted by "BushsLoveChild" after the Yahoo warnings last week...

So Yahoo is getting fucked. Same old story noone wants to click through the fucking online ads. At this moment I will save the entire fucking internet. For I have the solution. Read on:

The problem with most online ads is that I don't need to buy anything! The ads don't offer me anything new and attractive. If they did then everyone would click.

What do people want? They want sex, drugs and rock n' roll. So, for example, if an ad offered to send a teen supermodel up to my condo for a night of blistering sex, you bet it would get clicked. I, personally, would click this ad repeatedly, like one of these pigeons they train in those special boxes. Same for drugs. Right now I've got to walk down to a seamy neighborhood to score dope.

But what if Yahoo had a banner ad offering me free shipment of finest Mexican Gold? That ad would generate a gazillion clicks! As for Rock N' Roll - wouldn't it be cool if a site offered music for free! That site would rock! You could steal shit and not get caught! Wait a second ...okay, I guess that would be Napster. Okay, someone has got that one covered, but my first two notions still stand as original ideas.

So get with the program, Yahoo. Give society what it wants and the profits will flow. You are welcome.

He's actually got a good point. One of the best kept secrets of the online world is how incredibly profitable the online porn sites are. Most of the dead dot-coms would roll in their graves if they saw the P/L sheet for a live sex site. They have also been cutting edge pioneers in all the latest technology - secure credit card transactions, streaming media, java and javascript; and on and on. And they generally do it with little up-front funding because they aren't necessarily looked at as blue-chip investments.