Aug 25, 2005
A guy walks in with a guitar he bought yesterday.
A guy walks in with a guitar he bought yesterday. A $99 electric. This doesn't work! I want another one! Well OK but hold your horses a minute. What exactly doesn't work? The volume control doesn't change the volume. OK, so I plug it in and give it a spin or three. Works just fine. No! I want another one! That one!. But it works fine, there's something he's not telling me. The tuning gears are broken! So I tune it up. Nope, tuning gears work fine. But he's obviously unhappy with his purchase. I'm willing to swap it out and make him happy. But the first thing I have to do is give it a good eyeball and make sure there aren't any noticeable scratches that'll prevent me from putting it back on the shelf. Ah, now I see what the problem is. Somebody banged it against a wall (or something) - and then tried to cover up the damage with black spray paint (it's a black guitar). The spray paint dripped and partially dissolved the lacquer finish. What a mess. Sorry - I'm not taking it back. But I want another one, he insisted. No way Jose. You flucked it up. It doesn't work! I want another one! Over and over. But I held my ground. You've got a nice (albeit cheap) guitar with a screwed up finish. Stop whining and go home and play the durn thing. That's why you bought it.
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what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything
you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to
insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the
destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be,
be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to
insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as
your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be
yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your
receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this
thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen."
Madrak, in _Creatures of Light and Darkness_, by Roger Zelazny
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