Mike Macgirvin
Diary and Other Rantings
   
Wednesday, Jan 07 2009, 08:33 am
Aug 09, 2002
Officially it's two blocks away. Exactly two blocks away.

Officially it's two blocks away. Exactly two blocks away. But check this out. I can stand at my cash register in the middle of the store, and look out the window. Through the pedestrian arch across the street. Beyond the parking lot. No across the next street. There's another parking lot. See those bushes? That's the end of the second parking lot. That patch of pink - that's it. What is it? The new home of the Community School of Music and Arts. Today was the first day, though classes were cancelled due to some permit that didn't make it in time. They used to be two blocks from my nearest competitor. Think I should stop by and say hello. Oh these flyers? Well I just happened to be carrying them.

Three by five is a good size. Still fits in the pocket, but you can't lose it with your business cards. Big enough to take notes on. Put a stamp on it and you can mail it. Dad has always been big on three by five cards. They're pretty versatile.

No show on the violins yet again. These are the same guys that lost a box full of instruments for a few weeks, so I probably need to check on it. They're also the guys I'm counting on to replenish saxes so I need to factor uncertainty into that schedule. Course they're using that other shipper. The local driver has the charisma of uhm, lessee, a cockroach. Yeah, a cockroach. He shuffles in and out without saying a word and if the back door is locked he'll just leave a box of guitars out there with GUITARS stamped on the side. But he's young. I'm sure he finds my shoppe to be a pretty dull stop since he's used to dealing with cute receptionists. Then there's that third company... I don't even want to talk about them. Does the word cello ring a bell? I'd have to look through the archives to remember when that cello broke. The distributer finally gave up on them and took the broken cello away a week or two past. Likewise that driver doesn't talk much.

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An excellence-oriented '80s male does not wear a regular watch. He wears
a Rolex watch, because it weighs nearly six pounds and is advertised
only in excellence-oriented publications such as Fortune and Rich
Protestant Golfer Magazine. The advertisements are written in
incomplete sentences, which is how advertising copywriters denote excellence:

"The Rolex Hyperion. An elegant new standard in quality excellence and
discriminating handcraftsmanship. For the individual who is truly able
to discriminate with regard to excellent quality standards of crafting
things by hand. Fabricated of 100 percent 24-karat gold. No watch parts
or anything. Just a great big chunk on your wrist. Truly a timeless
statement. For the individual who is very secure. Who doesn't need to
be reminded all the time that he is very successful. Much more successful
than the people who laughed at him in high school. Because of his acne.
People who are probably nowhere near as successful as he is now. Maybe
he'll go to his 20th reunion, and they'll see his Rolex Hyperion.
Hahahahahahahahaha."
-- Dave Barry, "In Search of Excellence"